Is it Obsession…??
“Stop loving him..”….. “How can you Love her…”….. How many times you might have heard this sentence from your dear ones….. I was in a fix as I very well by now know how does one fall in love.. well the answer is “It just happens” .. But I am still struggling for the answer to the question, “How can one stop loving?”
I can understand Loving someone, but stopping to love someone is beyond the capacity of my small mind. Is it a process…. A tube-light or a fan that’s on, which just needs to be switched on or off?.. Is it like a writing on a white-board that you can just rub with a duster…. Of course not!! It’s a thing that happens sub-consciously and slowly and sweetly, and before you are even aware of it you are already in Love. So, how can you stop Loving when you don’t even know how the process of falling in Love happens?
Strange, but still we say this….. I find this ridiculous. Even when people say that they don’t love someone they loved before so much, what they mean is that with time they love them much lesser, but still the sense and the feel of love still stays in some corner of their heart.
Where as in some cases people easily move on, due to the reason that they didn’t love so deeply or due to the fact that they are practical.. in other cases people keep loving someone for the whole life even secretly in their hearts of hearts.
I had hardly imagined the intensity of Love before it attacked me.. It has both tears and smiles for you in store, but it surely turns you into a new person where you discover a new self of yours who is always lost in the memories of the beloved.
When I start writing on this I feel so light that I just feel like to keep swinging in the ecstasy of love and keep typing and typing… But, I better brake the flow here because today I want to highlight “obsession”.
In the morning I had gone to watch a movie where the boy fell in love with a girl, but to his misfortune she loved someone else…… But, he kept loving her silently and even went far from her life when she got married to her beloved….. But years later when she was divorced to her former lover, the boy was ready to accept her with the same love and passion….. What a form of love it was where he kept loving her unconditionally and was incapable of loving someone else. However, he was lucky to have her in life. He was not moved by the fact that she loved someone else.
In another extreme examples of unconditional love, in the novel( which I haven’t yet read)… “Love in the time of Cholera” …….there is an old lady who is about 75 yrs old and has lost her husband and is coming back after her husband’s funeral….. when suddenly appears in front of her the lover who had been waiting for her for the last 75 yrs. He is equally old but the love for her has kept him waiting so that he can marry her after her husband expires…. I know that sounds funny :)
Even though these may sound as extreme examples of love, but I don’t feel anything extra-ordinary about them. It is very much real and possible where one fails to UNLOVE some one. Sometimes it is much much easier to continue loving someone unconditionally than trying to UNLOVE them.
It may not seem practical in this give and take world, but that’s the beauty of love which generates so much passion in you that you literally blind yourself and just find yourself incapable of stopping of love.
Is it worth loving someone just because he or she loves you? Tough question to answer, but I personally feel…. No, it should happen from within.. It has to be spontaneous.
It may hurt the other person who loves you so much, may be more than you deserve, but Love only the one you feel like and not because he or she Loves you.. because the true passion and madness only comes in that state.
And for the person who is gifted with tears in this process, I sympathize with him but that’s the way Love is. I have discovered to myself a simple truth of life.. that renders most of us helpless. The simple truth is…. ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU’.
Sometime ago a senior reader of my blog, who is now a grandfather, commented that if you want the one you love in your life.. be financially, physically and spiritually sound so that she may come to you. However, I strongly disagree because even though you may have the person to spend the life with you, but he or she may still not love you. The passion and love may still lack… so you may have the body for sure but may not have the soul.
I always get confused as to what to term as ‘Obsession’ and what as ‘Love’. If you madly want the person whom you love irrespective of the fact he or she does not love you, then you are obsessed…. But, if you respect the other person and his or her feelings for you, then you must let them go if they don’t love you.. You may surely shed tears remembering them and imagining how it would have been if he was around or she was around but Just let them free….. let them go….. After all, the true love is the one where you want your beloved to be happy, and if that is not the case, anyways the love is not going to last or work out.
A beautiful saying says……. “If you love someone just let her go… if she comes back to you she is yours… if she doesn’t she never was” :)
I know the questions haunt us… “Why did she come if she had to leave….. Why he did this to me….. Why did she change…. Why he broke my heart”… This is life my friend.
I might be sounding as a broken heart myself…. But, it’s not true as I am in the category of those unconditional lovers who can wait for 75 Yrs :)….. Call it an obsession or love, the choice is yours!!
Whether we accept this with a smile :) or a drop of tear :(….. the truth will never change… ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU’..
So Cheers!! And dip your self in this ocean of love and get drowned… don’t worry you will learn to swim en-route :)
I can understand Loving someone, but stopping to love someone is beyond the capacity of my small mind. Is it a process…. A tube-light or a fan that’s on, which just needs to be switched on or off?.. Is it like a writing on a white-board that you can just rub with a duster…. Of course not!! It’s a thing that happens sub-consciously and slowly and sweetly, and before you are even aware of it you are already in Love. So, how can you stop Loving when you don’t even know how the process of falling in Love happens?
Strange, but still we say this….. I find this ridiculous. Even when people say that they don’t love someone they loved before so much, what they mean is that with time they love them much lesser, but still the sense and the feel of love still stays in some corner of their heart.
Where as in some cases people easily move on, due to the reason that they didn’t love so deeply or due to the fact that they are practical.. in other cases people keep loving someone for the whole life even secretly in their hearts of hearts.
I had hardly imagined the intensity of Love before it attacked me.. It has both tears and smiles for you in store, but it surely turns you into a new person where you discover a new self of yours who is always lost in the memories of the beloved.
When I start writing on this I feel so light that I just feel like to keep swinging in the ecstasy of love and keep typing and typing… But, I better brake the flow here because today I want to highlight “obsession”.
In the morning I had gone to watch a movie where the boy fell in love with a girl, but to his misfortune she loved someone else…… But, he kept loving her silently and even went far from her life when she got married to her beloved….. But years later when she was divorced to her former lover, the boy was ready to accept her with the same love and passion….. What a form of love it was where he kept loving her unconditionally and was incapable of loving someone else. However, he was lucky to have her in life. He was not moved by the fact that she loved someone else.
In another extreme examples of unconditional love, in the novel( which I haven’t yet read)… “Love in the time of Cholera” …….there is an old lady who is about 75 yrs old and has lost her husband and is coming back after her husband’s funeral….. when suddenly appears in front of her the lover who had been waiting for her for the last 75 yrs. He is equally old but the love for her has kept him waiting so that he can marry her after her husband expires…. I know that sounds funny :)
Even though these may sound as extreme examples of love, but I don’t feel anything extra-ordinary about them. It is very much real and possible where one fails to UNLOVE some one. Sometimes it is much much easier to continue loving someone unconditionally than trying to UNLOVE them.
It may not seem practical in this give and take world, but that’s the beauty of love which generates so much passion in you that you literally blind yourself and just find yourself incapable of stopping of love.
Is it worth loving someone just because he or she loves you? Tough question to answer, but I personally feel…. No, it should happen from within.. It has to be spontaneous.
It may hurt the other person who loves you so much, may be more than you deserve, but Love only the one you feel like and not because he or she Loves you.. because the true passion and madness only comes in that state.
And for the person who is gifted with tears in this process, I sympathize with him but that’s the way Love is. I have discovered to myself a simple truth of life.. that renders most of us helpless. The simple truth is…. ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU’.
Sometime ago a senior reader of my blog, who is now a grandfather, commented that if you want the one you love in your life.. be financially, physically and spiritually sound so that she may come to you. However, I strongly disagree because even though you may have the person to spend the life with you, but he or she may still not love you. The passion and love may still lack… so you may have the body for sure but may not have the soul.
I always get confused as to what to term as ‘Obsession’ and what as ‘Love’. If you madly want the person whom you love irrespective of the fact he or she does not love you, then you are obsessed…. But, if you respect the other person and his or her feelings for you, then you must let them go if they don’t love you.. You may surely shed tears remembering them and imagining how it would have been if he was around or she was around but Just let them free….. let them go….. After all, the true love is the one where you want your beloved to be happy, and if that is not the case, anyways the love is not going to last or work out.
A beautiful saying says……. “If you love someone just let her go… if she comes back to you she is yours… if she doesn’t she never was” :)
I know the questions haunt us… “Why did she come if she had to leave….. Why he did this to me….. Why did she change…. Why he broke my heart”… This is life my friend.
I might be sounding as a broken heart myself…. But, it’s not true as I am in the category of those unconditional lovers who can wait for 75 Yrs :)….. Call it an obsession or love, the choice is yours!!
Whether we accept this with a smile :) or a drop of tear :(….. the truth will never change… ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU’..
So Cheers!! And dip your self in this ocean of love and get drowned… don’t worry you will learn to swim en-route :)
posted by Unknown at 7:32 PM
4 Comments:
So, you're "back" -although you never left- as engaging as always... García Márquez's Love in the times of choler is certainly a great book. I love it. I totally agree with you on what you say in your new posts. And yes, letting go is the most difficult part and the moment we really want to postpone, but when the time comes, it is the greatest act of love. All the best,
Maria
Hmmm... Maria,
I think you are right . Letting go can be the greatest act.. and the Time is the one that forces us to do the greatest act.... When the patience dies and the time gets irrtitated enough to wait any further.. we by default let it go.. sometimes sub-conciously.
Part of life!!.. U know juts that sometimes in some phase of life we give somethings more importance than it actually deserves, even though we know this... Let it go the way its moving... I am happy that at least its giving me some directions to write at this moment :)
truely a nice one......hey dude u r sounding much more stable in this writing.....the love is there but more of a subtle one!may be u have realised the fact that u cant make someone love u!that true my dear friend! being in love is great.....but at the same time leaving the loved one..is truely painful....and when u are gifted with those"tears".....oh.....man......then itssssssssssssssssss really painful......hey friend then u should sympathize with me :) but beleive me buddy its always better love somebody who can also love u back.....then one can really feel complete....because wholeness is the beauty of life.....i think wholeness is path towards that eternal love...that we all are looking for!
Well, About stability, was always stable. But yes the acceptance and clarity takes some time.
And about sympathizing with some one... I don't think so one is to feel bad for some one who has got heart broken in love.. as u are just talking about the wholeness on the basis of reciprocation.. But I feel even in the absence the love can be whole, because love sometimes is beyond reciprocation, unconditional too.... That takes time but never ever it should make one weak. So no sympathies to be given in Love, it just a part of growing up dear. Its just like you stumbled on the road, fell down, got up cleaned your dress and then continued to march... so just an experience just a part of life that's meant to make you a better evolved human being.
Give your best in everything .. whether its living or loving... reciprocation miley toh theek, nahin toh fine... life moves on and we learn to smile again... After all these are just false narrow minded samples of the cosmic love.
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