Scattered atoms of the day....
Of course, I can't consider myself a writer yet, but a fear of under performance does haunt me. It's been over 3 months I have typed a single word on this page.
It's not that there was no content that didn't want to come to limelight, and it's also not that the content was not worth sharing, but somehow I could sense a repulsion form the thing I am doing now.... yes... writing.
Even today evening, it's been almost 2 hours that I have been online and thinking constantly to write but something was stopping me from logging in. I went unnecessarily to people's orkut account and kept scraping, as if to say that yea, I do exist.
What is it that traps us from doing something that we want to do? I guess it was not lethargy..... and I hope it was just a fear of under performance. Even that is a good sign, as that at least keeps the effort at it's best.
Well, once again the subject of this post is not very clear to me, so I guess I need to look for the subject in the day that went by today. The day started with me, getting up late and then feeling guilty about it, that I wasted time in sleeping. How often do we do this to ourselves?... Before doing the thing that we know makes us guilty, we probably think 100 times but when we are into doing the same thing, we hardly remember the resolution that, " Hey I am not supposed to do this"... I guess it's a common human mentality where we get trapped by the wrong doing and only repent later, but do not have the courage to restrain ourselves from doing it whoile doing it.
Then, I can recollect going for a lunch hosted by a friend who is leaving the organization. I could sense a peculiar characteristic of each one of us..... Reach the last, so that the others have to wait, but not me. As if it's only we whose time is precious and the rest can always wait.
Then, I can recollect myself waiting at the crossing for the red light to turn Green..... and there came a small girl running to me and standing close to my bike and begging...... I see these kids everyday.... they plead for 20-30 secs and then move on to the next person behind me...... I hardly see anyone paying then alms..... but their hope never dies and they are there every day. By giving them, are we really practicing kindness and compassion or are we actually ruining their lives by making them more dependent.
I wonder how every event in the day has so much to say and feel.... Even now as I opened the blogger, I saw that they have enhanced the feature so that the user does not have to save the article again and again and it auto-saves ... what a customer delight.... A small event but how thoughtful it is, and once again serves a core human nature..... keep improvising...
I feel good to have been able to write these lines at last... It may seem to be a scattered post, but at least it has served the purpose of getting getting me out of my scattered state :)
It's not that there was no content that didn't want to come to limelight, and it's also not that the content was not worth sharing, but somehow I could sense a repulsion form the thing I am doing now.... yes... writing.
Even today evening, it's been almost 2 hours that I have been online and thinking constantly to write but something was stopping me from logging in. I went unnecessarily to people's orkut account and kept scraping, as if to say that yea, I do exist.
What is it that traps us from doing something that we want to do? I guess it was not lethargy..... and I hope it was just a fear of under performance. Even that is a good sign, as that at least keeps the effort at it's best.
Well, once again the subject of this post is not very clear to me, so I guess I need to look for the subject in the day that went by today. The day started with me, getting up late and then feeling guilty about it, that I wasted time in sleeping. How often do we do this to ourselves?... Before doing the thing that we know makes us guilty, we probably think 100 times but when we are into doing the same thing, we hardly remember the resolution that, " Hey I am not supposed to do this"... I guess it's a common human mentality where we get trapped by the wrong doing and only repent later, but do not have the courage to restrain ourselves from doing it whoile doing it.
Then, I can recollect going for a lunch hosted by a friend who is leaving the organization. I could sense a peculiar characteristic of each one of us..... Reach the last, so that the others have to wait, but not me. As if it's only we whose time is precious and the rest can always wait.
Then, I can recollect myself waiting at the crossing for the red light to turn Green..... and there came a small girl running to me and standing close to my bike and begging...... I see these kids everyday.... they plead for 20-30 secs and then move on to the next person behind me...... I hardly see anyone paying then alms..... but their hope never dies and they are there every day. By giving them, are we really practicing kindness and compassion or are we actually ruining their lives by making them more dependent.
I wonder how every event in the day has so much to say and feel.... Even now as I opened the blogger, I saw that they have enhanced the feature so that the user does not have to save the article again and again and it auto-saves ... what a customer delight.... A small event but how thoughtful it is, and once again serves a core human nature..... keep improvising...
I feel good to have been able to write these lines at last... It may seem to be a scattered post, but at least it has served the purpose of getting getting me out of my scattered state :)
posted by Unknown at 11:20 AM
3 Comments:
I totally understand! I have had to overcome prior bouts of writer's block!
Good to have someone in the same shoes as mine :)
Good to see your blog after a really long time....I truely understand thrugh which phase u are going through.It happens to everyone when u are choked .You have almost a million things to do but those things dont come to your mind.You are lost somewhere ....may be NOwhere ... :-)
Ramit
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