Me and myself.....

5 hours before I had a talk with someone who gave me a news that was too upsetting for me to handle.. and probably had the capacity to upset me for weeks.... After I kept the phone down, somehow I could see myself sinking ... I sensed a need for someone to be beside me that very moment.. may be for support or just an ear for what I say....

Called one friend... he was in between of a movie... called the other, he was busy with his girl-friend..... when found no one around.... asked the self.... can I take it on my own without anyone else.. can I allow my self to sink this very moment... somehow the self divided itself into two.... one who could detach itself from the problem and could think rationally and spiritually to keep my self at peace and the other still drowned in the thought... Now what next??

Well.... some inner spirit kept the positive self stronger and didn't make me sink and made me smile at the moment which had just passed by.... I came home picked up the guitar and strummed ... each chord on it seemed to fill a stronger bliss in my self..... then called some friends whose company makes me happy-happy.... met some for coffee.... and at last after a great evening came home happier than never before....

This small evening gave me an insight of how important it is to be your own spectator and how important are friends ..... a coffee with some one... a joke cracked without any reason can be so evolving... this could not go unnoticed by me today.

But, that very moment I thought of those lonely moments when we are in intense need of someone beside us and we find none... May be we are not always as lucky as I was today..... to have folks, we love to be with, around us..... Or I must say mostly life is not thoughtful enough to keep us around the dear ones we love to be when we actually need them the most.

I can remember a movie of based on a split-personality.. probably something like..."Me myself and Irene" where the guy has a split personality.... so I guess in such moments when we need someone so so much around us, we can use this phenomenon of split personality to heal ourselves at that moment..... We can split ourselves into two halves... the one which needs consolation and the one that shall console.... the one that is drowned in the trouble and the other that knows to swim and will rescue the troubled self to get out of it.

May be a bit of writing your trouble to yourself, or talking aloud to your soul can be such a good convalescence..... If I can be my bestest-friend I can heal many .... as I am my own healer then. In the lucky moments when we have the dear ones around, we may not need the self-healing, but in the moments of a lonely-crisis the split can be blissful.

But none the less... I am thankful to the souls who were with me today evening when I was in need of them the most :)

Hmm.... but I still wonder....when will we become need-less ???